snape apologists are like “be still my beating heart his death was so tragic”
and you know what? it was. so let’s create a ‘snape doesn’t die’ au in which he doesn’t get to be the martyr.
severus snape being an asshole even after voldemort dies
severus snape freaking out when he’s told harry named his second child after him “what on EARTH is that potter brat thinking?!” (because he’ll always be a brat, even when he’s eighty)
severus snape having an aneurysm the 1st of september 2015 (he very obviously got demoted from his position as headmaster, but mcgonagall was kind enough to give him back his previous teaching post) because there’s a kid named JAMES SIRIUS POTTER and he looks JUST LIKE HIS GRANDFATHER
severus snape regretting the way he treated harry because now he realizes the poor kid wasn’t like his father at all. BUT JAMES SIRIUS IS AND HE GIVES HIM HELL. “where can we find a bezoar, mr. potter?” “i don’t know, up your arse?” “potter, detENTION!” “now i get why dad says that sometimes your classes were worse than your boss’ cruciatus curse. you know who i’m talking about, don’t you?”
severus snape being done with everything after arthur tells him “is your scar giving you trouble, as well? i can relate, i was bitten by that snake too” because he wants to say it’s not the same thing, but it is, so he just glares at him.
severus snape losing his shit when he finds out that harry’s kids (who are still very much named JAMES SIRIUS, LILY luna and albus SEVERUS) are a very close lot who like to play pranks on each other (PRANKS!! A kid called severus!!!), share interests despite their differences and love each other very much.
severus snape, alive and non-romanticised
@pastartphosopher I think I love you, this is superb
😉
Argh, yes, all canon universes can go home now, this is the best.
I want 500K of a 7 years story of the 3 Potter kids (along with the Weasley-Granger ones, too!) of the 7 years of misery of Potions Master and certified Arsehole Severys Snaaaape.
But…… there has to be one inclusion in this story….
Teddy Lupin doing a month’s detention… .for hexing the Potion’s Master, in front of everyone, their last year, when Teddy finds out who outed his Father to the Wizarding world about his furry little problem.
And takes his punishment gladly (especially after Andromeda owls Severus, who is considerably younger than her) and lets her grandson know that while she’s not happy what he did, she’s proud of him for why he did it.
#PuffPrideRideorDie
@diva-gonzo please can someone fecking write this immediately????????? You are literally a genius 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
Snape: Your grandson threw a hex at me that gave me a tail, wolf ears, and fur for over a month.
Andromeda: *looks at Teddy who looks unremorseful* What a tragedy… *turns back to Snape* like your birth.
Okay. I’m gonna have to do something with this.
I’d also like everyone to spare a little thought for Professor Longbottom in this universe.
“Okay, well, does anyone who isn’t a completely rubbish teacher have any ideas?”
“Huh. Oh, quick show of hands! Who here never let death eaters run amok in the corridors? Oh, look whose hand is up. Let’s all shut up and listen to Neville, shall we?”
Like, I really want everyone to imagine the staff room with Snape and Neville.
You thought the Slytherin/Gryffindor rivalry was bad before. Snape was never McGonagall’s boggart.
Headcanonsandmore 