Because my mother told me that all I needed to do was get drunk and lie back and let my husband have his fun. Because if I was drunk, I’d be more relaxed and it’d be over sooner
Because my sister told me that I was trapping my husband in an abusive marriage, and that one day he was going to leave me
Because both of them looked at me in disgust
Because my asexuality is considered to be as great a crime against my husband as a woman who has affairs and cheats on her husband
Because my cousin didn’t even try to understand, and just kept asking ‘but what about in five years? how will you feel then?’
Because I was so afraid of my body and so afraid of sex that I didn’t seek medical help for a legitimate question for over a year for fear of being labelled a deviant or something broken
Because I still ask myself at least once every day if my husband wouldn’t be better off without me
Because I still ask myself at least once every day if I’m broken
Because I still tell myself at least once every day that I’m pathetic and useless and an abnormality
Because I love my husband with every fiber of my being, but everywhere I turn I’m told I really don’t, because love = sex
I need A to stand for Asexual because nobody ever talked to me about asexuality even when I was an outpatient at the women’s hospital for 18 months, and everyone told me desire would come in time
I need A to stand for Asexual because we are literally invisible, and so unimportant that people assume we don’t even need representation, because everyone assumes our lives must be bland and unimportant and lacking in challenges or bigotry
For every asexual that wants a relationship, for every asexual that does not want a relationship, for every asexual who has not yet come to terms with their identity, for every asexual who was told we were abnormalities, for every asexual who was told we just weren’t doing sex right, that we needed a good fucking, that we needed to be drunk, that we needed to relax, that we needed to be raped
We need representation, and we need visibility
That is why the A needs to stand for Asexual, and never for Ally
Fucking Important Post.
Just so we’re fucking clear, this blog is inclusionist. If that’s a prob, gtfo.
People don’t understand the enormous and insidious pressure aces are under to just give in and pretend you like it already. This at an individual and institutional level- look at the way psychologists treat people who don’t want sex, whether they are ace or not. Conversion therapy for aces is so normalized that people don’t even notice it exists.
I’ve been told that I’m asking to be cheated on for my asexuality. People tell me that if I “dont put out” then I’m gonna get cheated on. I’m 16, for one, so theres the first issue. But the other is that people try to manipulate us into having undesired sex just so we dont get cheated on.
So, Ron couldn’t call Harry again because of the whole ‘whoops was yelling at Vernon Dursley’ thing. I think he’d still want to get better at it, since he flummoxed it up so badly.
So there would be nothing keeping him from calling Hermione. He didn’t have much of a chance to do it their third year, with him in Egypt and Hermione in France- but the following years he did. It’d come up one night by the common room fire, when Harry is off having lessons with Lupin. He’d still be a bit embarrassed about it.
“Well, maybe we can practice phone calls this summer,” says Hermione, eyes suddenly bright.
“I dunno. I don’t want to get Harry in trouble. That Uncle of his–”
“No no. Not You and Harry. You and me.”
It would be purely for getting better at calling people, and not because she would love to hear his voice before she comes to visit over the summer.
Who knows, maybe Harry’s relatives will let him have a phone call.
So the following summer they begin practicing phone calls. Ron is given fair warning not to yell into the set, so it goes really smoothly. Honestly, he doesn’t need to practice after the first time, but neither he nor Hermione want to stop them. So a few times a week he hoofs it into the village to call Hermione, and she has stolen the phone from the guest room to have in her room.
“You’re at the age where you’re having long calls with boys. Oh dear!” her mother teases.
“It’s not boys. It’s only Ron,” Hermione says with a large blush.
She really could have stopped writing him, but there’s something fun about doing both, then talking about the letter they received. She thought they might have nothing to talk about, but they actually have loads. Each phone call gets longer and longer.
“You know what, at first I thought they’d be barmy, but I actually like telephone calls!” Ron says into the receiver. “I just wish I could see you, though. That makes floo calling a bit better.”
“Oh! We could see eachother better! Let’s practice Floo calls! I’ve never done one, and I don’t want to be the only witch at Hogwarts who doesn’t know how.”
Ron is silent a moment.
The telephone calls are private… This would be in the middle of their living room. It’s just Hermione, but he doesn’t want to share ehr with the rest of the house, or worse, the twins.
“Alright. But it’ll have to be after everyone goes to bed, otherwise it’s too crazy here for us to talk.”
A time is agreed upon, he sends her some powder via Pig, and they have call lessons that way too. He gets to see Hermione’s face, even though it looks like it’s on fire, and visa versa. By that point it’s nearly time for her to be there in person, which is by far the best way to communicate with Hermione. She gives him a large hug as she enters their home, and he returns it with gusto, even though his ears are burning.
The next summers they don’t stop their phone lessons.
When Cho cornered Harry under the mistletoe, Harry mentioned that “he could have counted the freckles on her nose.” (Order of the Phoenix, page 456.) While this was supposed to indicate their proximity, it’s interesting to note that of all the things that he could’ve noticed first (her eyes, her lips, her nose, etc), he observed the freckles.
When Ron asked Hermione what would happen to the person who betrayed them, she said that she had done something that would make, “Eloise Midgen’s acne look like a couple of cute freckles.” (Order of the Phoenix, page 354.)
Luckily for Harry and Hermione, their future spouses do have loads of cute freckles.
Harry and Hermione have a freckle fetish, confirmed
able-bodied people don’t seem to realise the nuances of disability, they look at it as such a black and white issue when it’s really not. like, i don’t need a wheelchair in the sense that i can’t physically use my legs and i don’t need a walking stick in the sense that i would fall over without one. but i do need a wheelchair in the sense that it could make the difference between my being bed-bound for a day and being bed-bound for a week and i do need a walking stick in the sense that using one today might enable me to do more tomorrow. disability and chronic illness aren’t black and white; using things out of necessity can mean a lot of different things for a lot of different people.
I wonder if the reasons why so many of the former young HP actors don’t really interact with Emma Watson much nowadays are that 1) they got sick of her apparently diva-like attitude on the sets of the HP films and 2) they got irritated by the way she was heavily favoured by the screen-writers, directors and higher-ups in the production, despite her apparent lack of effort for her role.
Anyone have any thoughts?
I’m not trying to start a fandom war here, so please keep things civil; I’m just curious as to what the consensus is.
@headcanonsandmore I don’t know, I think her going to college in the US really separated her a lot, when she wasn’t in college she was doing a movie and it took her like 5 or 6 years or something. The bond faded I guess, or maybe it’s a message every now and then
@delannscape Good point. I imagine that would have had an impact.
@casualminiaturetimemachine “Resented” is probably a bit strong. Like Hilly and Delannscape have suggested, it’s possible that they just lost contact with Watson over time due to geographic differences and different schedules.
It’s also been hypothesised that Emma Watson had/has some form of social anxiety that makes it difficult for her to get close to people (at least, according to people who have worked alongside her).
Although it’s certainly a possibility that the other actors might have gotten weary of the production team moving filming around to suit Watson (a luxury which, as far as I’m aware, wasn’t awarded to any of the other younger actors).
I think my original post wasn’t thought-out properly, and I apologise for coming across in such a rude fashion.
Hermione: (doing a crossword puzzle) Hmmm…. three letter word meaning “perfection”….
Ron: (smiling lopsidedly)”You”?
Hermione: (blushes bright red whilst smiling back) Well, I was going to put “Ron” but I suppose that fits too….
In the earlier films, it didn’t bode well for Emma Watson’s acting ability that Rupert Grint was out-acting her in scenes where he had no lines and she had all the lines.
Headcanonsandmore 