anotherdayforchaosfay:

kierongillen:

it-was-justified:

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tobinlaughing:

hergeekiness:

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officialdeadparrot:

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fororchestra:

musicalmelody:

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 

Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.

On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.

The lengths we go for music.

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

This is the best band post 

Everyone else go home

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look – that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit

Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share

I haven’t been in band for years but this made me laugh so hard

I haven’t seen this post in ages and I’m dying of laughter

I didn’t think it could get better after The Foghorn Tuba Story, but it did. It got better. Bless you, MusicTumblr.

as far as I can translate it, the German notes at the octuple forte mean something roughly like “You want the instrument to cough… this is not for wimps”

this man was a menace

Yeah I need to join another brass band

Getting Tuba feels.

When I was in high school I played the flute and piccolo.  One day the director hands out a new song to us, and I was the ONLY piccolo player.  For those not familiar with this particular instrument: google it.  It sounds like a banshee but worse.  I wore EARPLUGS because of this.

The sheet I was given at 10 Fs.  TEN!!!  I must have had a strange look on my face because a flute player asked if I’m okay.  So I pointed at the section with the Fs.  She proceeded to tear a tissue apart and stuff the pieces in her ears, all the while with this shit eating grin on her face.

When we get to this particular part of the song I decide to just go with it.  The composer must have been evil or deaf, maybe both, but the sound that came out of my piccolo isn’t something meant for humans to hear.  It made EVERYONE in the room stop playing, a few dropping of them looking like they’re in pain (which they likely were).  The director asks me “what the hell was that?”  So I handed him the sheet and pointed out there are several sections with this absurd requirement.

The flute player who had stuffed the tissues in her ears was laughing really hard.