Person A: *internally* You are the best human ever, I like you way more than I like myself, and I really really like you bordering on love and wow do I want to kiss you please, please, please like me back-
Person A: *out loud* I think you’re mildly decent
This is literally Hermione Granger towards Ron Weasley for most of the HP series. Don’t @ me, you know it’s true.
Ron: I think I’m going to ask Krum to the Yule Ball.
Harry: But you’re the token straight.
Ron: What?
Hermione: It’s quite simple, Ronald. The fandom needs to make at least one character straight so the rest of the pairings seem statistically more realistic.
Ron: But why am I the token straight?
Harry: I dunno…you just seem…kinda hetero?
Ron: …
Ron: …
Ron: Well, Hermione, you’re a girl
Ron: And Viktor Krum is a boy. And he’s gorgeous too.
Hermione: Okay, normally I’d blush scarlet at you complimenting me, but now I’m starting to think I’m the token straight round here.
It’s early in morning and Hermione’s checking on whether Ron’s lost a book (while the whole of the boys dorm is asleep)
Ron (not properly conscious yet) ends up pulling her onto his bed ‘cause he wants to cuddle her (whilst murmuring “‘Mione” into her ear)
Meanwhile Ginny’s just stood nearby trying not to laugh at how much Hermione’s blushing because ‘oh my Merlin, why can’t you see how much he fancies you?…’.
Headcanonsandmore 