Tag: lee jordan

potterwatch-transcripts:

First Broadcast: 2nd of August 1998.

Lee Jordan: Hello all and welcome to the new series of Potterwatch. I’m your host, River. We have decided to continue Potterwatch to ensure, with the help of our listeners, that Harry Potter never forgets how bloody famous he his. We will introduce you to our new correspondents, but first, an update on the man we here at Potterwatch like to call ‘The Dork Lord’. He is still dead. 93 days and counting. And now, I’d like to introduce you to our first new correspondent, Red Hot.

Angelina Johnson: Hello River.

Lee: Hiya Red Hot. What have you got for us today?

Angelina: Well I’ve been keeping track of Harry Potters Quidditch form, as no British teams participated in the World Cup this year and I got bored.

Lee: And? How has Griffindor’s former star-seeker been performing?

Angelina: Pretty poorly to be honest River. I saw him play several games at the Weasley residence with my colleague Oliver Wood. He got hit by eight bludgers, superbly directed by Weasley and Weasley. His attempted to play chaser and all his shots were blocked by Weasley, and he only caught the snitch because the opposing seeker, Weasley, had never played before.

Lee: How disappointing. Any other developments?

Angelina: unfortunately not, as the mother of the Weasley players, Mrs Weasley, caught me and Wood in the tree we were hiding in, and, thinking we were escaped death eaters, transfigured Wood into a small hamster. Luckily I intervened and, upon recognising me, she apologised and invited us for dinner.

Lee: what a happy ending. Thank you Red Hot. And now, before our ‘other news’ segment, I would like to thank our sponsor, Weasley’s Wizard Wheeze’s. And now, with other, non-Potter news, Rapier.

George Weasley: Hey L…River

Lee: Rapier, what’s happening in the world beyond Harry Potter.

George: Well River, first I have it on good authority that Teddy Lupin, son of the war hero’s Remus Lupin and Tonks, has used the potty for the first time, in a manner that can only be described that of a true Griffindor, and is a very good boy and got a chocolate frog from his grandmother.

Lee: Excellent, truly a hero like his parents.

George: Indeed. Next up, the trial of Dolores Umbridge, war criminal and professional toad look alike has entered its 8th day. Umbridge is on trial for a myriad of charges, although my attempts to get ‘crimes against fashion’ added to the list of charges fell on deaf ears.

Lee: well when you’re minister Rapier I’m sure it will be swiftly added to the law books.

George: here’s hoping. Umbridge has had attempted murder added to the charges however, after she stole a security wizards wand and attempted to kill Minister Shacklebolt. She was promptly hit by curses and hexes from 7 members of Dumbledores army who were in attendance and ended up in St mungos. Handsome and wealthy bachelor George Weasley was also admitted for what some thought was a backfiring cheering charm but in actual fact was because he found it so damn funny.

Lee: I hear charismatic and good looking radio personality Lee Jordan performed a textbook Jelly Legs Jinx. Is that true Rapier?

George: It sure is River. Lastly the statue of Albus Dumbledore is scheduled to be unveiled in Godrics hollow next week. The great and the good of the wizarding world will be there to heat speeches by Shacklebolt, Potter and Eliphias Doge. The inclusion of Mrs N and Master D Malfoy on the guest list raised some eyebrows, and I hope those slimeballs don’t show their greasy heads. Also if you are attending, don’t sit next to Hagrid unless you have an umbrella. Last time he cried 8 flobberworms drowned.

Lee: thank you Rapier. And finally, we would like to introduce a man who knows Harry Potter better than anyone alive. Please join me in welcoming…Roonil.

Harry: Thank you for having me. Big fan of the show.

Lee: Well thank you Roonil. So my first question, are the rumours true that Harry Potter was last night admitted to a muggle hospital of all places. Is the boy who lives about to become the boy who died?

Harry: no River. Whilst it is true he arrived at the muggle hospital, it’s in fact because he drank a little too much and tripped over a certain bloody cat belonging to his friend Hermione. They had all drunk a bit too much to effectively repair the damage magically and so staggered to the muggle hospital. It was in fact a sprained ankle.

Lee: you heard it here first folks. Harry Potter, dangerous and drunk? Next, we hear Harry has been seeing a lot of his godson, champion potty user, Teddy Lupin. How is the baby Roonil?

Harry: Teddy is doing very well thanks River. I…that is to say Potter, has been seeing a lot of the wee fellow. I have some pictures.

*rustling sound followed by several seconds of silence*

Lee: Roonil, these all appear to be different babies.

Harry: ah you see that’s because Teddy, like his mother is a metamorphmagus.

Lee: ah I see. And it seems young Mr Lupin has a world famous Weasley Jumper with a little T on it.

Harry: yes indeed, Molly has been on a bit of a knitting spee of late.

Lee: Truly a wonderful woman. And lastly can you comment on the rumours spread by Rita Skeeter than Potter has several illegitimate children fathered during his time on the run last year?

Harry. That is completely accurate River. His children Elvendork, Vernon, Marvolo and Roonil jr will all be coming to live with him and his new live in partner, Buckbeak the Hippogriff, in the coming days.

Lee: how wonderful for him. Thank you Roonil.

Harry: Anytime River.

Lee: Well that’s all for this time. Join me again on Potterwatch, where the password will be Seeker. I’ve been River, goodnight.

Why Lee Jordan would be a feminist…

leeriverofwordsjordan:

  • Half-blood or pureblood Lee still would’ve had to deal with racism.
  • He would’ve used his words and not his fists like other Gryffindor might: When you’re a black Brit,you’re aware that—like it or not—you represent people who look like you. 
  • Lee would know it’s better to be funny and approachable. He might not consciously know why. Maybe he had it in his head it was better to be funny and approachable than just loud. Loud could be interpreted as ‘scary.’
  • Angelina Johnson would’ve called him out on his commentary about her.
  • Hermione Granger’s house elf rants would sink in later when he was in the midst of the Second War.
  • Lee went from a character who in the Chamber of Secrets (American Hardback Edition) Chapter 14, Page 258, said “The Heir of Slytherin, the monster of Slytherin–Why don’t they just chuck all the Slytherins out?” and publicly ridiculed Hermione Granger for S.P.E.W. to one who in Deathly Hallows, Chapter 22 , page 439 did this:

“let’s take a moment to report those deaths that the Wizarding Wireless Network and Daily Prophet don’t think important enough to mention.”

  • He acknowledged the names of the missing and the dead on Potterwatch. He gave them back their humanity when those in power denied muggleborns and muggles were just as human as the rest of the magical population.He extended that courtesy to house-elves, too. Gornuk was named among the fallen.
  • Lee was listening when Kingsley Shacklebolt, whose very name is a reminder that slavery and that past affects the present, said "it’s one short step from Wizards first’ to ‘Purebloods first’, and then to ‘Death Eaters.’ “ (DH,Chapter 22, pg 440)

  • Lee Jordan had to listen to others, had to unlearn his own problematic behaviors in order to become a better person. And eventually, he– a black, British, man– hosted a pirate radio station created to speak truth to power. 

  • J.K. Rowling could’ve chosen another character for that very important role, but she chose him–one of the few characters depicted as a person of color. 

  • And the movies stole that important role from this character by merely using his voice, by never letting people know that voice of Potterwatch was a black man . 

    We could’ve had a black character commenting on oppression in the movies, but we didn’t. Instead he was invisible. (Original post. X)

  • Lee Jordan would be a feminist because the last thing he would ever want for himself or others is to be invisible.

[Part 1/?][Also see Reasons Tonks Would Be A Feminist]