ronandhappiness:

CoS reread #2

Gilderoy Lockhart is insane which I’m laughing at. He is a trash-sh*t fave of mine. I would be happier if people gave him the treatment they gave Malfoy. Not the “he’s a misunderstood baby” treatment. Just appreciating the comedic brilliance that is Gilderoy Lockhart. I swear to god, most of the things that he says are ridiculous but so funny. He got some of the best lines in this book. I don’t even know why he didn’t pursue stand-up comedy because he would’ve been one of the best magical comedians. He could’ve done modeling too if he wanted to be praised for his looks. He could’ve joined the Ministry and easily landed a well-paid job of being the Head Obliviator.

So much potential, Gilderoy. But you wasted it by being a fraud…and for that, you deserve to be insane for ever.

And if you haven’t, consider watching Starkid!Lockhart (portrayed by the brilliant A.J Holmes) because he couldn’t be funnier.

Hermione’s fascination with him confuses me a little bit because a year later, she’ll completely forget that she had a huge crush on a teacher. She’ll forget that even she wanted a celebrity’s autograph, slept with it, and sent him a valentine. A year later, she’ll shake her head at Parvati and Lavender for admiring Professor Trelawney. Two years later, she’ll diss the girls who have crushes on Krum. And three years later, she’ll insult Firenze (“I’ve never really liked horses”) when Parvati and Lavender talk about how beautiful he is. The funniest part is that the Hermione stans who bash Ginny for having a crush on Harry, have also forgotten about Hermione’s crush on Lockhart. At least Ginny’s hero was actually a hero, and became her friend.

It would’ve been nice to see a boy fangirling about Lockhart and not just the females. Justin did praise but I don’t know if I should count that because it wasn’t really fangirl-y.

Flitwick is one of the best duelists. I forgot about that. Shame on me.

Professor McGonagall raised her wand again and pointed it at Snape’s desk. A large plate of sandwiches, two silver goblets, and a jug of iced pumpkin juice appeared with a pop.

Snape only cared about expelling them and didn’t give a shit about the fact that Harry and Ron were starving but at least McGonagall did. He could’ve been a decent human being and conjured a meal for them or let them eat first before he gave them a piece of his mind, but of course, that would be expecting too much from Snape.

This, however, is an iconic moment. Hilarious and scary.

“Hang on…” Harry muttered to Ron. “There’s an empty chair at the staff table… Where’s Snape?”

Professor Severus Snape was Harry’s least favorite teacher. Harry also happened to be Snape’s least favorite student. Cruel, sarcastic, and disliked by everybody except the students from his own house (Slytherin), Snape taught Potions.

“Maybe he’s ill!” said Ron hopefully.

“Maybe he’s left,” said Harry, “because he missed out on the Defense Against Dark Arts job again!”

“Or he might have been sacked!” said Ron enthusiastically. “I mean, everyone hates him —”

“Or maybe,” said a very cold voice right behind them, “he’s waiting to hear why you two didn’t arrive on the school train.”

Harry spun around. There, his black robes rippling in a cold breeze, stood Severus Snape. He was a thin man with sallow skin, a hooked nose, and greasy, shoulder-length black hair, and at this moment, he was smiling in a way that told Harry he and Ron were in very deep trouble.

“Follow me,” said Snape.

I would’ve killed to see any of the kids asking Snape how to brew a love potion. Maybe Fred and George did it but it’s doubtful that they would’ve lived to tell the tale. I’m still bitter that we never saw any Weasley twins and Snape interaction.

LASTLY, WHY DIDNT ANYONE GIVE RON WEASLEY A FUNCTIONING WAND? HARRY CAN GET AN EXPENSIVE BROOM BUT RON CANT GET A WAND? GREAT LOGIC, THERE. I KNOW IT WAS A PLOT DEVICE BUT SERIOUSLY WTF?

So Ron’s wand is broken which affects his performance in Transfiguration and McGonagall tells him to get a new wand. Ron is reasonably upset and angry, and Harry feels sad for his friend because his friend’s family obviously can’t afford a new wand. They leave Transfiguration and then, this happens:

They went down to lunch, where Ron’s mood was not improved by Hermione’s showing them the handful of perfect coat buttons she had produced in Transfiguration.

“What’ve we got this afternoon?” said Harry, hastily changing the subject.

And this, my friends, is why:

Ronarry > Romione and Harmione.

1. People have the nerve to call Ron the insensitive one and call Hermione the person who understands emotions and Miss perfect friend who understands what the boys need. Ha! Bullshit!
2. I always thought that Hermione was smart but not a show-off. I guess I was wrong.

Anyway, that’s all I have to say for now.