mycrazyfangirl21:

suhailauniverse:

( https://nij.gov/multimedia/presenter/presenter-campbell/pages/presenter-campbell-transcript.aspx )

– Mariska Hargitay.

Detective Olivia Benson rolling out the facts.

inkskinned:

at six he pushed me down the stairs of the playground and
while i sat there, arms wrapped around my injury,
i was granted the crucifix by which we tame girls at a young age –
a soundbite that bit me: 

“he’s only doing it to get a rise out of you.”

a rise, here meaning a reaction, here meaning,
don’t make a scene, it lets him win, here meaning
make no retaliation, let him keep playing, sit there and force
every howl you feel building in yourself
down into a whimper,
wipe your nose and limp back home

at sixteen i was already familiar with this concept of sinking,
of submission by point of silence, of
un-rising
where i would weigh in one hand my safety and in the other hand, burning,
the sheer rage i chewed on every time a boy whispered things that
belonged only inside a bedroom

“he’s only doing this to get a rise out of you,” here meaning,
a boy can’t be a bully, here meaning flirting looks like abuse,
here meaning – let him run his wild hands all over you, 
do not cower, it will only lead him on, do not fight back, that’s 
slutty too

at twenty i was a raging feminist asshole, couldn’t just make friends,
couldn’t just slink in and out of parties, would start fights with frat boys
about shit they should know but turn their cheeks from,
would be kicked out and snapchatted and called crazy because 
i asked them to their faces if you knew what he did 
why didn’t you say anything
and while i watched these same people cross stages at graduation
flip me off
and then keep going
i was reminded to be the feminine emotional mess aka
no emotions at any point, ever showing, for fear 
they might be conceived of as inappropriate

“he’s just doing this to get a rise out of you” 
because he knows you won’t cry without being told you’re overemotional
and you won’t yell because ladies aren’t loud and you 
won’t speak out because then you lose in both ways, don’t you;
he won when he hurt you and you, stupid girl,
you lost when you actually felt it

at twenty five i am exhausted, can’t see the light, am sipping 
on the drink i don’t want at a house party that’s too pretentious 
listening to white boys debate things they’ll never be a part of 
and the trial comes up because it’s gotta – and you know how it goes
because you’ve been here before,
the sliding in of a devil’s advocate, that sleek smile, that bitter on their lips, that
victorious well i think he’s innocent, boy as heroic, like we asked for it, like we 
deserve this, like he’s blessing us with a wisdom we had somehow missed,
like we should be thanking him, like – oh, everybody, move over and let
this man say things we’ve all heard before;

later, my panic attack is subsiding. i think it was his comment, 
“if she was drunk, she should have seen it coming,” but i can’t 
pinpoint it. things like this happen to me now. sometimes it is like dew,
sometimes it is flood. i am shaking on the floor of a bathroom. my friend
is petting my hair. we are gently talking around a subject. 
one of his friends peeks into the room. passes me a warm cider.
assures me, “he’s just doing it to get a rise out of you.”

i am twenty and he puts his hands on me.
i am sixteen and he puts his hands on me.
i am six and he puts his hands on me. my knee is torn open. 

getting a rise – here meaning: to cause pain. to incite to bleed.

hillnerd:

TRIGGER WARNING- 

TRIGGERS UNDER THE STRIKETHROUGH- sexual assault (s.a.)

Just want to put out there, for all of you who are survivors of s.a.- I’m sorry you’re having to have an inundation of stories of s.a. in our media right now. With the current hearings, and the me too movement, and trump stuff- there are some great things (society is having to come to terms with how they treat survivors, there’s some justice finally happening etc.) it’s been a lot to deal with the past two years.

You may not be ready to hear about this stuff in your everyday life- and you might never be- and that’s ok. You don’t have to be a survivor out there telling your story- you don’t have to be ‘brave’- you don’t have to be ok with hearing this stuff, good or bad.

I’m just sorry you’ve had to go through this, are seeing so much of this topic int the media and world you can’t opt out of- and wanted to put that out there. 

You’re incredible. You survived. You deserve every peace and happiness and shouldn’t have to hear this crap unless you want to seek it out.