Men. Step up. Rape is your issue too. It happens to you too. But more often, you’re perpetrators of it. So do your part. Ensure your sexual relations are consensual. Always ask. And make sure they feel comfortable saying no. Always respect your partner’s answer. Pay attention to if you’re making potential sexual partners feel uncomfortable.
And if you see your friends behaving like this, don’t let them. Your power in this is greater than ours. Most behavior is policed through societal norms rather than the law. Don’t let inappropriate jokes about women be the norm. Don’t let your friends get away with this behavior. Don’t support your friends if they’re accused of this behavior. Don’t be friends with people who abuse their sexual partners. Or their romantic ones. It’s not okay. And it is your responsibility to say something too. Don’t defend these kinds of actions.
1 in 5 women in the US have been raped. You know someone who has been raped.
Only 2-8% of rape accusations are false. This is in comparison to the 50% that college students surveyed estimated were false. This is rape culture. Where rapists are protected and victims are perceived as liars.
Women ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely to be raped. Female college students ages 18-24 are 3 times more likely than other women to be raped.
60% of inmate sexual violence is perpetrated by prison or jail staff.
46% of bisexual women report being raped in their lifetime.
12-34 is the age range of people most likely to be sexually assaulted.
70% of rapes are committed by someone the victim knows.
American Indians are twice as likely as other races to be victims of rape/sexual assault.
1 out of every 10 rape victims are male.
33% of women who are raped contemplate suicide.
Approximately 70% of rape or sexual assault victims experience moderate to severe distress, a larger percentage than for any other violent crime.
37% of survivors experience family/friend problems, including getting into arguments more frequently than before, not feeling able to trust their family/friends, or not feeling as close to them as before the crime. Rape isolates you.
More than 50% of the sexual contact between inmate and staff members—all of which is illegal—is nonconsensual.
Both men and women who have been assaulted are more likely to report frequent headaches, chronic pain, difficulty sleeping, limitations on activity, and poor physical and mental health.
Only 12 percent of female rape victims were assaulted when they were 10 or younger, but almost half of female victims said they had been raped before they turned 18. About 80 percent of rape victims reported that they had been raped before age 25.
About 35 percent of women who had been raped as minors were also raped as adults.
More than half of female rape victims had been raped by an intimate partner, and 40 percent had been raped by an acquaintance; more than half of men who had been raped said the assailant was an acquaintance.
At least 54% of rapes are not reported.
The following are reason why victims didn’t report: 20% feared retaliation 13% believed the police would not do anything to help 13% believed it was a personal matter 8% reported to a different official 8% believed it was not important enough to report 7% did not want to get the perpetrator in trouble 2% believed the police could not do anything to help 30% gave another reason, or did not cite one reason
50% of rape perpetrators are 30 or older
57% of rape perpetrators are white.
In 2002, inmates convicted for rape only served on average 48 months or 4 years, even though their victims are more likely to have long lasting effects from the crime.
America Indian women have a 33% change of being raped in their lifetime.
97% of rapists have never been incarcerated.
80-90% of military rapes are not reported. Maybe that’s because 90% of the victims are dishonorable discharged, while 80% of the perpetrators who are discharged, are discharged with honor.
LGBT prisoners are 15 times more likely to be raped while incarcerated.
Rape and sexual assault are unfortunately common, but aren’t discussed due to shame, fear, and embarrassment. There is a stigma against talking about these experiences. Unfortunately, if you make a claim, people are more likely to believe that you’re lying than telling the truth. However, statistically, most are true. And what perpetuates this? A culture designed to protect the accused, a culture that tells men that they are owed women’s bodies, a culture that tells women they’re responsible for preventing this from happening, a culture that tells women to be silent and shut up or we’ll attack you all over again.
Listen to the women in your life when we tell you that this is happening. Don’t just try to protect your friends or yourself. If you feel threatened by women’s (and men’s) stories of harassment, assault, and rape, perhaps you need to inspect your own behavior and that of those around you. Why do you feel a need to protect them, but not us? Why do you think their lives are more important than ours? Why do you think it’s just “boys being boys”? Is it perhaps that you’ve done some of this behavior yourself?
If so, change it. Learn how to assure consent in your sexual experiences. Just because your partner isn’t saying no, doesn’t mean they’re saying yes. Many women fear saying no, because we fear the consequences of doing so. Obtain verbal consent (and not by repeatedly pressuring for it).
Learn how to behave appropriately around females. Thinking of commenting unasked on our appearance? Don’t. Thinking of touching us without permission even on a nonsexual body part? Don’t. If a person appears uncomfortable, stiffens, or pulls away when you’re doing so, they don’t want you to. Learn to read others’ body language and facial expressions. Consider the effect your behavior has on others. It’s not that hard to not sexually assault or harass somebody and if you feel it is, you’re the problem.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, chapter five ‘The Dementor’;
“They headed down to
breakfast, where Mr Weasley was reading the front page of The Daily Prophet
with a furrowed brow, and Mrs Weasley
was telling Hermione and Ginny about a Love Potion she’d made as a young girl.
All three of them were rather giggly.”
Urgh. Considering that
Love Potions are now regarded in the HP fandom as the magical equivalent of a
date-r*pe drug, this scene comes across as very
unpleasant. It’s especially weird to see the normally highly moral Hermione
getting all giggly over this.
I mean, I’m sure JK
Rowling didn’t intend for Love Potions to later have so many issues surrounding
them when she wrote this little bit in the third book, but (with hindsight)
this joke seems very misguided. Love Potions were the reason for Voldemort’s
conception, as well as making untold numbers of people (including Ron Weasley)
to act outside their nature, violating issues of consent.
I can imagine Ron
looking back on this at the end of his sixth year, and feeling very
uncomfortable.
As a side note, Hermione
seems perfectly comfortable about Ron seeing her getting giggly over this.
Maybe Hermione’s crush on Ron wasn’t really developed at this point, so it’s
possible that she’s wasn’t bothered about him seeing her giggling over a love
potion story.
For some time now, my headcanon regarding “love potions” is that they are a very broad category. The infatuation-inducing kind are just a narrow subset.
On the more adult side of the spectrum, you have wizard!Viagra and similar products plus the wizard versions of things one might buy to “spice up the old relationship.”
There might also be potions designed to temporarily improve one’s attractiveness or confidence.
My favorite is still Aphrodite’s Destiny (from the fic of the same name). It is supposed to reveal to the drinker the identity of their soulmate.
Hmm. Interesting hypothesis. I think that probably makes more sense; after all, it seems unlikely that the moral Mrs Weasley would be giggling with two young girls about the magical equivalent of a date-rape drug.
Like much of anything else, it’s all in how it’s used. Wizard!Viagra for an older warlock who is indulging his wife? Absolutely.
Let’s say Ecstasy. MDMA is known ‘round as a party drug, for the hallucinogenic effects (and makes Raves and House parties much more fun, so I am told.)
But the same drug is used for PTSD therapy by some doctors. (And if it’s proven effective, I’m all on board that train! It’s still in FDA studies, the sods.) It’s also used by some psychotherapists for helping with severe anxiety and other neurotypical issues. (My cousin used X for about 2 months after her father died. I honestly can’t blame her at all after she witnessed it, and her (then boyfriend, now husband) doing CPR for 30+ minutes on him waiting on the ambulance to get there.)
What about flunitrazepam?
For someone with severe insomnia, it’s a useful medication. Used for nefarious means, it’s a date r*** drug.
So in regards to all of this…. I think that Molly, in the earlier era, was thinking more innocently and it’s only later that the dark side of such a product can crop up (especially in regards to consent issues that are now forefront and mandatory.)
I care about the problems of men. I care that the patriarchy tells men that they have to be stoic beasts incapable of emotion. I care that the patriarchy tells men that they are lust-filled monsters incapable of controlling their own libidos. I care that the patriarchy tells men that they cannot be raped or assaulted because the patriarchy believes women are too weak and inferior to be dangerous.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, chapter five ‘The Dementor’;
“They headed down to
breakfast, where Mr Weasley was reading the front page of The Daily Prophet
with a furrowed brow, and Mrs Weasley
was telling Hermione and Ginny about a Love Potion she’d made as a young girl.
All three of them were rather giggly.”
Urgh. Considering that
Love Potions are now regarded in the HP fandom as the magical equivalent of a
date-r*pe drug, this scene comes across as very
unpleasant. It’s especially weird to see the normally highly moral Hermione
getting all giggly over this.
I mean, I’m sure JK
Rowling didn’t intend for Love Potions to later have so many issues surrounding
them when she wrote this little bit in the third book, but (with hindsight)
this joke seems very misguided. Love Potions were the reason for Voldemort’s
conception, as well as making untold numbers of people (including Ron Weasley)
to act outside their nature, violating issues of consent.
I can imagine Ron
looking back on this at the end of his sixth year, and feeling very
uncomfortable.
As a side note, Hermione
seems perfectly comfortable about Ron seeing her getting giggly over this.
Maybe Hermione’s crush on Ron wasn’t really developed at this point, so it’s
possible that she’s wasn’t bothered about him seeing her giggling over a love
potion story.
For some time now, my headcanon regarding “love potions” is that they are a very broad category. The infatuation-inducing kind are just a narrow subset.
On the more adult side of the spectrum, you have wizard!Viagra and similar products plus the wizard versions of things one might buy to “spice up the old relationship.”
There might also be potions designed to temporarily improve one’s attractiveness or confidence.
My favorite is still Aphrodite’s Destiny (from the fic of the same name). It is supposed to reveal to the drinker the identity of their soulmate.
Hmm. Interesting hypothesis. I think that probably makes more sense; after all, it seems unlikely that the moral Mrs Weasley would be giggling with two young girls about the magical equivalent of a date-rape drug.
I want this in every library, everywhere. After all, some kids won’t even google this stuff because they don’t want parents/siblings checking their browser history.
This is really awesome. And if you’re not familiar with how the Dewey Decimal system works – the numbers subject-based, which means these numbers are applicable in EVERY library. So if you see something you want to research on this list – look for those same numbers in any of your local libraries.
to my fellow freshman girlies out there, go parties in groups, don’t walk alone late at night, and if you sense some shady shit going on don’t hesitate to interfere. trust your gut. people are getting sicker by the minute and nothing seems to be changing anytime soon.
PS: CHECK YOUR LOCAL LAWS REGARDING WEAPON PURCHASING
I’m not lying fuck men omfg
as a former RA, who has seen way too much of this shit, it is important to highlight that most of these assaults will not be someone grabbing you from behind a bush or something – a lot of the weapons used against you will be social convention and alcohol/drugs.
it will be at parties. surrounded by people, where you lose sight of a friend and you’re surrounded. it will be guys “making sure to bring you home” while you’re drunk. it’ll be “come on over and let’s watch a movie”, it’ll be so many insidious things.
please always push back from any pressure or challenge to your boundaries. GET LOUD. your physical and mental health is SO much more important than how “cool” you seem. make a fuss, and it might make things awkward, but it’ll be so much better than the alternative. i’ve had so many of my residents come back for the night, so regretful about staying silent while a guy felt her up because she didn’t want to rock the boat or “ruin the mood” of the party. DO IT.
keep a friend, a trusted friend, preferably a girl, and use the goddamn buddy system.do not let your buddy out of sight. keep together at all times, and not just at parties – even at casual outings. new roommate? talk to them about how you want to stick together and make sure nothing happens.
do not go anywhere alone for the first month (this is also just a good practice to meet new people and find new friends lol). go to campus-run events, which are usually more tame and supervised (and still fun!).
know the red flags, and always be cautious of going alone with any man – ESPECIALLY if they’re older. that includes going to parties, movies, even out to lunch.
i don’t want to scare people at all, i really want you to be safe. know that there are campus resources if things do happen, but when it comes down to it, CALL THE POLICE. campus police and counselors can help you deal with trauma and change your classes so you’re away from your assailant, but they’re ultimately working for the university that doesn’t want to report assaults. grab a friend to stay with you to support you – hell, if you live in a residence hall, most RAs have been trained with crisis counseling and will stick with you to the end, and CALL THE POLICE.
pepper spray is a good start, but half the battle is knowing the warning signs and sticking together, and never being afraid to fight back.
also like… start checking your guy friends who do this type of shit and not just when it’s a girl you personally care about
Yes. I can 100% see this becoming a real thing (and, like @disneyprinceronweasley suggested, this campaign was probably started by Ron). But also, the thread for this post is a bit off. Half the people commenting seem to think Ginny used a love potion on Harry (where did you get that idea from?), and someone-else argued that love potions must have happened with Ron and Hermione because (and I quote) ‘the genius fell in love with an idiot’. I don’t understand this fandom.
Seriously, Ron’s a chess master and brilliant strategist; where (in the name of Merlin) did you get the idea that he’s an idiot?
Also i would like to point out that Romilda Vane never got punished by a teacher or even told off by a student ( Hermione and Ginny???? Where were you at????) for smuggling a love potion into school, giving it to Harry and also indirectly leading to a near death accident so wtf
@acciocuteboysplease That sounds about right. And yeah, I’m shocked that Romilda Vane never got punishment for that. You would have thought Hermione and Ginny (or even other Gryffindors) would have reported her to a teacher, since her actions indirectly led to a near-death experience for another student.
Headcanonsandmore 